Amid a plethora of arguments concerning the oppression of women, misogyny, and polygamy in Islam, whoever deliberates over the prophetic directives related to women will grasp that Islam constitutes a doctrine that is consonant with human essence, thereby offering a foundational framework for addressing all pressing contemporary dilemmas. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) gave humanity an eminent example that we need to follow his suit. The Prophet commands respect, gentle dealing, and keeping women's rights, being a wife, a daughter, a sister, a mother, or a relative. He (PBUH) said, “Take my advice regarding good treatment of women.” Let’s have a brief examination of the Prophet’s manner in the treatment of wives.
How wives should be treated in Islam?
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) defined a husband's highest qualities as how well he treats his wife. He (PBUH) said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.” Family here means one’s wife. Even after the death of Lady Khadiīah, the Mother of the Believers and the Prophet’s first wife, he continued to remember her to the degree that it is narrated “If the Prophet (PBUH) slaughtered a sheep, he would send meat to the friends of Khadiīah as a present as much as would suffice them.” Contrary to what some people think that showing the esteem of wife is a defect, the prophet declared publicly his appreciation towards his wives. It was narrated that Anas said, “It was said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the people is most beloved to you?’ He said: ‘Ā’ishah. It was asked, ‘And among men?’ He said, ‘Her father.’”
Moreover, al-Nuʻmān ibn Bashīr narrated, “When Abu Bakr asked the permission of the Prophet (PBUH) to come in, he heard his daughter Ā’ishah speaking in a loud voice. So when he entered, he caught hold of his daughter in order to slap her, and said: Do I see you raising your voice to the Messenger of Allah? The Prophet (PBUH) began to prevent him and Abu Bakr went out angry. The Prophet (PBUH) said when Abu Bakr went out: You see I rescued you from your father.” Compare how men deal with their angry wives and how lovely the Prophet, the mercy of Allah, dealt with Lady ʻĀ’ishah! He neither got angry with her, nor accepted that her father would yell at her. Rather, he protected and supported her kindly. Moreover, ʻĀ’ishah said that when she was with Prophet Muhammad on a journey, she raced him on foot and beat him, but when she grew up, she raced him, and he beat her. He said, “This makes up for that beating," a matter that reflects a gentle sense of humor.
Polygamy in Islam:
Regarding polygamy, it was not invented by Islam; rather, it was a prevalent conduct of the ancient world that Islam limited. Allah says, “Then marry those that please you of [other] women, two, three, or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one.” (Qur’an 4: 3) Some people quote the verse out of context, where the verse uses the conditional clause “if-then” to stress the conditions of polygamy. Islam allows polygamy under stated particular conditions, unlike in ancient history when rulers not only used to have hundreds of wives but also gave wives to other rulers as gifts.
The Prophetic view towards polygamy:
Whoever contemplates the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) marriages will ascertain that the Prophet was not driven by desires and lusts. Lady Khadijah, the Mother of Believers, was called the ideal of virtuous lady. Therefore, the prophet chose her though she was a widow and 20 years old older than him. The story of the marriage of the Prophet and lady Khadijah is the devastating response on the controversial issue of polygamy. Throughout the marital life of the Prophet and Khadijah, he never married another wife or thought about another woman till her when he was 50 years old. Though the age from 25 to 50 is the peak of lust which is the most popular motive to polygamy, but the prophet spent that age without thinking about polygamy at all. According to the prophetic teachings, the default form of marriage in Islam is monogamy rather than polygamy. The Prophet had only one wife through his bloom of youth, but in the last thirteen years of his life, when he was over fifty, he married several wives––except one, all were widows or elderly.
Considering the Prophetic view towards polygamy, the Prophet’s wives were vulnerable women or represented minorities who endured prejudice from others at that time. Therefore, the prophet married several times to strengthen the social ties of the then emerging Muslim community, spread Islam at that time, and to preserve and document the Hadith as the second significant source in the Islamic tradition. Nowadays, the status of women, particularly widows, is mostly different from those who lived in the Prophet Muhammad’s era. For instance, widows can live alone or remarry and be more independent economically and psychologically than before. Polygamy is no longer an appropriate social justice tool to address issues affecting women and children. Establishing a particular social justice organizations, focusing on widows and orphans’ issues may be more beneficial and less risky than utilizing polygamy in tackling such situations.
To conclude, it is unattainable to count manifestations of beauty of the prophetic teachings towards dealing with wives. The Prophet (PBUH) used to consult his wives regarding crucial issues as happened with Umm Salamah concerning the peace treaty of Hudaybiyyah. Even during his last illness, the Prophet asked his wives to allow him to stay at the house of ʻĀ’ishah, and they agreed. Husbands and wives are in an urgent need to seek the guidance of the Prophet (PBUH) to sustain the stability of their harmonious marriage, achieving what Allah, the Almighty, says, “And live with them in kindness.” [Qua’an 4: 19]
The Prophet commands respect, gentle dealing, and keeping women's rights, being a wife, a daughter, a sister, a mother, or a relative. He (PBUH) said, “Take my advice regarding good treatment of women.” Our noble Prophet defined a husband's highest qualities as how well he treats his wife. He (PBUH) said, “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.” He used to consult his wives regarding crucial issues as happened with Umm Salamah concerning the peace treaty of Hudaybiyyah. The guidance of the Prophet (PBUH) is a guarantee to sustain the stability of harmonious marriage, achieving what Allah, the Almighty, says, “And live with them in kindness.”